Beavers Get Their Pansy Asses Beat By Sac State

As I sat broken hearted drowning my sorrows following the Ducks unfortunate loss to LSU my mood turned to laughter when news of Oregon State's loss to Sacramento State flashed across my TV. It reminded me how great my Ducks have become and how grateful I should be that my team is so good that its only losses over the past 2 years have been to top 5 teams. The Ducks are not out of the race yet, but the Beavers are another story.

Today I witnessed a weak ass bunch of bitches in black uniforms get run over by Sacramento State from the Big Sky Conference in the Football Championship Subdivision (FCS). A weak ass bunch of bitches who lost to a team so shitty that they play in subdivision for teams with special needs that typically prevent them from competing with normal schools. A weak ass bunch of bitches who lost to a team from the same conference as Portland State which sent a squad full of sissys down to Eugene for a 69 to 0 ass whipping by the Ducks second and third strings last year.

Now that I've proven just how shitty Sacramento State is you should be even more impressed with their 29-28 victory over the Beavers on their home field. When I began my undergraduate studies at Oregon State I never thought I would see my former school sink to such lows, but its times like these that make me proud that I transferred to a better school where I was able to finish my studies in a town that doesn't smell like cow shit.