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Oregon Ducks Beat The Beavers Pansy Asses in Civil War

NoLimitList.com — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 10:05:49 -08:00

The Oregon Ducks beat the Oregon State Beavers pansy asses as predicted in the Civil War yesterday showed just how much the Oregon Ducks program has surpassed that of Oregon State in recent years. This years Beaver team only won 3 games and starting the year 0-4 after getting their pansy asses beat on opening day by Sacramento State. Future seasons are likely to see nothing, but losing seasons for the Beavers until they finally have a "Cinderella Season" with more wins than losses and a bad bowl game. The Ducks on the other hand should keep on winning.
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Robert Saks Mattress: Bad Off-Color Toupee Commercials

FunnyTVMoments — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 02:02:25 -08:00

Robert Saks of Robert Saks Mattress Company gave new meaning to the question "does the carpet match the drapes?" with his toupees that never matched his real hair color. He had at least two versions of his horrible toupee commercials one of which featured a reddish light brown toupee embedded below and the other which I couldn't find online featured a not quite so horrible grey toupee that still stood out as not being near as white as his real hair which was visible from above the top of his ears on down to his neck. Eventually Robert Saks must have realized how stupid he looked in his commercials and released a new one featuring himself wearing an Oregon Ducks hat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fqxXNsC3Z8). The last commercial of his that I ever watch was his hat commercial and that left me wondering whether or not the toupee was an intentional disaster created by an old man with a sense of humor.
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Oregon Duck Cliff Harris Victimized by Racial Profiling

CivilLibertyWatch — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 00:41:42 -07:00

Eugene police need to stop harassing Oregon Ducks pre-season All American cornerback Cliff Harris. There might not be many black people in Eugene, but surely officers of the Eugene Police Department (EPD) and Oregon State Police (OSP) are capable of finding lesser members of society to satisfy the urges of their racist desires. For those of you who don't watch football or follow inferior teams here is a rundown of the harassment Harris has suffered so far. The first incident took place this past summer when Cliff was just driving down a deserted highway minding his own business when OSP Nazi officer David Ray Stallsworth pulled him over, burglarized his car, and kidnapped him all because Stallsworth thought he might have been driving just a little bit over the speed limit. Then this past week Cliff was minding his own business driving down the street in downtown Eugene in a convertible when a EPD Nazi officer harassed Cliff again just because he thought it looked like he was not wearing a seat belt. Now either Cliff Harris has the worst luck of people the police choose to treat like criminals instead of busting crackheads or he has been racially profiled twice in past six months alone. In the first incident Stallsworth could clearly see not only Cliff, but two other black men in the vehicle as well when he walked up to the driver's window if he did not notice before pulling them over which is unlikely. The second incident should erase all doubt in your mind because as the police statement indicated he was driving a convertible which made it easy for anyone to see his darkness clear as day like JFK's face from the book depository and that fascist pig zeroed in on him like Lee Harvey Oswalt. Due to these clear cases of racial profiling a new policy must be mandated for police in the Eugene area so that they can properly identify Ducks players and treat them as they deserve to be treated. The first step is to make sure that every Ducks player carries with them an Official Oregon Ducks Football Team Membership Card (if no such card exists one should be made). The second is to require any police officer with reasonable suspicion to believe that someone is an Oregon Ducks football player to ask the subject two questions as follows: 1. Are you or have you ever been a member of the Oregon Ducks football team? 2. Do you have an Official Oregon Ducks Football Team Membership Card? If the subject can confirm that they are in fact a card carrying member of the Oregon Ducks football team the officer should then be required to let them go about their business. I propose that this policy should put on the ballot in the next election to reduce racial profiling and make Eugene a sanctuary city for football players.
Learn more: Oregon Duck Cliff Harris Victimized by Racial Profiling

LaMichael James Seriously Injured! Arm Likely Broken

NoLimitList.com — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 07:22:10 -07:00

Oregon Ducks star running back LaMichael James was just carted off the field with serious injury. Judging by the replay the injury is most likely a broken arm or a significant tear of a muscle, ligament, or cartilage. The crowd gasped as the incident was replayed on the big screen in which his right arm could clearly be seen extending beyond the point normally possible for the human body. It is not know at this time exactly what happened, but we will be keeping an ear out and look for a copy of the replay to add to this story. After seeing the replay we hope that he will be able to come back before the end of the season, but it does not look good. In fact we feel that he is lucky not to have suffered a compound fracture. Fortunately for the Ducks backup running backs Kenjon Barner and DeAnthony Thomas are both very good. In our opinion both the Ducks and LaMichael are extremely lucky that he is not a quarterback because this most likely be a season ending injury in such a case. If you don't have to throw the ball then arm and shoulder injuries are simply a matter of re-establishing range of motion before combining pain killers like Vicodin, Percocet, and Tylenol 3 with perseverance to get by until fully healed. This author personally broke a thumb playing high school football and played with a padded cast for several weeks. UPDATE: After seeing the replay again on ESPN he appears to have suffered an elbow injury, not a shoulder injury most likely a broken or dislocated elbow. If its broken he might miss a few weeks and if its dislocated he could be back very soon. This author personally suffered a dislocated elbow playing baseball as a teenager when being hit by a pitch so hard that it dislocated my elbow and left a bruise shaped like the stitches on the ball. It was during one of the last 2 innings of the game, my team was up by more than 10 runs, and there was no one else to sub in for me, so I took my base because without me we would have lost our first game by forfeit, and I went back out into left field to finish the game praying that no one would hit the ball my way because I would not have been able to throw it any further than I threw the bat as I feel to ground which only made it half way to the pitcher's mound. UPDATE: It appears that his arm is not broken and he told the media in the video embedded below that he just dislocated his elbow.
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De'Anthony Thomas Learns How to Hold Onto a Football

NoLimitList.com — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 02:26:52 -07:00

As Oregon made Nevada their bitch 69 to 20 Ducks fans were happy to see De'Anthony Thomas run with the football thanks his new found ability to hold onto it. It was a far cry from a week ago when Thomas fumbled twice against LSU in the third quarter giving LSU great field position that led to touchdowns. Chip Kelly's coaching staff obviously knows a thing or two about how to teach freshmen things that they should have learned in high school. In this case it was holding the ball high, tight, and close to his body making it harder for defenders to knock it out of his hands. A far cry from how he sloppily extending the ball in failed efforts to juke LSU defenders who just knocked it out his hands last week.
Learn more: De'Anthony Thomas Learns How to Hold Onto a Football