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Johnsonville Sausage Strips Sound Disgusting

Mr.CorrectTruth — Sun, 12 Jun 2022 17:38:46 -07:00

Just caught a commercial promoting Johnsonville Sausage Strips in which they claim that Americans favor them over bacon and that they're also "possibly more American" than bacon. If Johnsonville doesn't know how American their Sausage Strips are then I want to know what the fuck is in those sausages? 1-888-556-BRAT
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Gap Factory: Backordered Pants Advertised as Cheapest

GapFucktory — Sun, 10 Oct 2021 18:00:06 -07:00

The Gap Factory website seems to advertise a great deal on one pair of pants, but doesn't make it clear that those pants are on backorder and probably will not be shipped to you for 7-8 weeks. This author found that out recently when I stumbled on the Gap Factory outlet website and couldn't believe my eyes when I noticed soft black colored khakis on sale for just $9.97 a pair. A shockingly low price considering the next cheapest pair of men's pants available on that website were $39.99. It doesn't take a lot of poking around on the Gap Factory website to learn the real reason why those pants are so cheap. They offer free shipping for any order over $50, so to really get a deal on those pants without having to pay twice as much with shipping included you need to spend at least $41 more. Since many items are priced at $39.99 that means you'll probably have to buy 2 additional items. Despite that you'll likely remain a happy customer until you've received everything you ordered except the cheap pants. Then you'll lookup your order online to find that you'll have to wait at least a month for them just to ship the damn things.
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WHISTLER SOAP ROCK RUINED MY HOT TUB!

timmy — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 05:17:44 -08:00

A big rock shaped piece of soap from some soap store in Whistler cost me over 300 bucks when it RUINED MY HOT TUB. The soap looked cool in the store and made for some sudsy hot tubbin with the Alpha Phi’s, but THEY NEVER WARNED ME not to use it in a tub like it is normal to use soap. I don’t remember the name of the store, but it was in Whistler Village with shelves full of soap. DO NOT USE SOAP ROCKS FOR BATHING!
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Robert Saks Mattress: Bad Off-Color Toupee Commercials

FunnyTVMoments — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 02:02:25 -08:00

Robert Saks of Robert Saks Mattress Company gave new meaning to the question "does the carpet match the drapes?" with his toupees that never matched his real hair color. He had at least two versions of his horrible toupee commercials one of which featured a reddish light brown toupee embedded below and the other which I couldn't find online featured a not quite so horrible grey toupee that still stood out as not being near as white as his real hair which was visible from above the top of his ears on down to his neck. Eventually Robert Saks must have realized how stupid he looked in his commercials and released a new one featuring himself wearing an Oregon Ducks hat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fqxXNsC3Z8). The last commercial of his that I ever watch was his hat commercial and that left me wondering whether or not the toupee was an intentional disaster created by an old man with a sense of humor.
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RIP Illegal Alien Costume with Jumpsuit and Green Card

IllegalAlien — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 22:16:24 -08:00

It is with great sadness that I regret to inform everyone that the Illegal Alien Costume with jail jumpsuit and Green Card is no longer available on Amazon. When it was still available its product description was as follows: The Illegal Alien Mask with Jail Jumpsuit and Green Card appears at first glance to be an illegal alien Halloween costume. It has an alien mask, an orange prison style jumpsuit, and a Green Card, but there is something wrong with this image. If this is an illegal alien costume how do you explain the Green Card? Think about, have you ever heard of an illegal alien with a Green Card? Having a Green Card by definition makes you a legal resident alien in the United States. Since the alien has a Green Card it is impossible for him to be an illegal alien in America unless he is one of those expired Green Card carrying illegal aliens, but the card is advertised as a key piece of the the costume, so how the hell is this an illegal alien costume? I don't know, but if I had to guess this poor guy followed the steps to legal residency to get his Green Card in the United States before acquiring a mask and an orange jumpsuit. Then sometime later he crossed the border into Canada or took a flight overseas at which point his American Green Card became useless making him an illegal alien. Costume Includes: 1 Space Alien Mask 1 Orange Jumpsuit 1 Green Card
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